When You Close Your Eyes
by eaglewing
Summary: Ever wonder what Squall was mumbling in his sleep when Rinoa walked in? And why no matter what he said, she'd keep coming back?


Disclaimer: I love FF8. Fanfictions are merely tribute, not an attempt to cash in. Got that, Square? 

Author's note: Didn't you ever wonder what Squall was saying in his sleep when Rinoa walked in on him?

When You Close Your Eyes

"He still looks so adorable asleep", Rinoa thought, smiling. She watched in silence, as her lover lay beside her in deep slumber. His longish brown locks tumbling around his forehead, one she was so used to seeing furrowed in worry or deep thought. Gently, she ran a finger down the scar that ran from that forehead, down to the middle of his nose.

She expected him to stir at her touch, for he was the lightest of sleepers. Yet, it seemed that sleep had a fuller claim on his senses that night. That did not bother her at all. It gave her more time to gaze on her sleeping knight. And time to think back on the first time she had seen him asleep. What lingered most on her mind was the second time. That was what really started it all.

She had walked into his dorm, expecting him to already be up. Her father being in the military, she knew the routines, the hard discipline. Even as a high-ranking officer, he was awake by sunrise, alert and ready. So it was to her surprise that she found Squall flat on the bed, oblivious to the sun's call. She had caught him asleep. Again.

"Squall?" He didn't answer. She moved closer to the bed, moving to rouse him but stopped when he started mumbling.

"Sis..."

Sis? Did Squall have a sister she didn't know about? Somehow, Rinoa couldn't imagine Squall having had a family. He had always been aloof, a lone wolf. His callous disregard of others gave the impression that he didn't particularly like human company. Any human company. Besides, she had found out he was an orphan. Like the others, except of course for Zell, who had family in Balamb.

"I'm...all alone."

She heard what seemed like a faint sob. Rinoa felt her own eyes getting teary. The vulnerability in his voice, the way he sounded like a lost little boy was just so unlike the Squall she knew. At least, the Squall she thought she knew.

"But I'm doing my best..."

"I'll be ok without you, Sis."

"I'll be able to take care of myself."

He moaned a little, turning on his side then onto his back. Rinoa quelled the urge to reach out and comfort him. She wanted to take him in her arms and soothe his fears, banish the demons of isolation and fear that haunted his dreams. Those demons were still with him in the day. They were the ones crippling his emotions. It all made sense now. The hurtful things he'd say. The way he just seemed to build a wall around himself, as impregnable as the most defensive of armor. She could finally see behind his armor, to find the wounded soul beneath.

"How can I make you see you're not alone, Squall?" She asked out aloud, hoping he would hear her. Still he slept and finally, tentatively, she put out a hand to rouse him. His eyes opened. The little lost boy was gone, as she stared into his hard, cold gaze.

"Hey, again." She mustered, as cheerfully as she could.

"I wasn't asleep."

She rolled her eyes. Rinoa thought to herself, if he can't even admit to sleeping, he wouldn't believe me if I told him what he was saying.

She couldn't tell him. At least, not yet. She put her best face on and smiled cheerfully. I just hope I'm not overdoing it, she sighed inwardly.

"Oh really? I think I hear you talking in your sleep."

Laughing gaily, she winked at him.

"I'm not telling you what you said."

His expression was still unchanged. Lack of expression would have been a better description.

"Hey, let's go for a walk."

It took some cajoling before he reluctantly accompanied her outside. She could see students whispering as they walked past. They probably think we're an item or something, she mused. Stealing a look at her handsome escort, she found the idea not displeasing. It was, however, just an idea. She was still trying her level best to stop thinking about the other guy who got her all worked up. In another way, of course. Seifer, who had walked into her life and walked right out. Perhaps by helping Squall out, she'd get her mind off the guy she thought she'd been in love with.

Right now, she just wanted to stay close to Squall. Learn about him. She stared at his back, thinking. "Damn you, Squall Leonhart, I really care about you!" She wished she had the guts to say that. Knowing him, he would probably find some new caustic remark. Some stinging barb that was meant to poison any feeling of sociability. It wasn't gonna work this time. She owed him her life. Might as well return the favor. You're gonna learn to live, Squall, she vowed, whether you like it or not.


End file.
